The dating scene for a 50+ year old............

Have you ever wondered how the dating scene looks for a 50 something year old. Yeah, me neither. But, I get to hear all kinds of funny stories right from the woman who is currently living it. Yep, my mother. So, I have come up with "names" for all of these guys that she has told me about. It's actually pretty pathetic. So girls, whatever you do, just try to stay in a relationship during your "golden" years, because as we have seen, there's nothin' but the slim pickin's left after that.





1. Fake Picture Guy: this guy posts a picture on his online profile for a dating website. Well, when you meet him, you realize pretty fast that this is an old picture. Yep, at least 20 years old. I guess he wanted it to be a surprise that he had grey hair and wrinkles.........





2. Drunk Guy: this guy goes to a concert with my mom and he is totally blasted. Yep, before the concert. So, he continues to drink, and fall down, and drink, and fall down, and so on.....





3. Drunk Guy II: this guy loves to have a tottie or two. Especially before he's about to drive. Ask the cop who gave him the citation. Now he calls my mom to she if SHE can pick HIM up to go to a movie. I don't think so......





4. Broken Neck Guy: Yep, this one is a dandy. He didn't break his neck once, not even twice, he has broken it a grand total of 4 times. He has to rearrange his whole body in his seat before he can even look at ya. Sounds fun.





5. Farmer Guy: This guy says he loves to see movies. Oh goody, so does my mom. She asks him what the last movie he saw in theatres was..................His answer..............The Titanic. Oh, that just came out last year..................right???????????





6. Slow Guy: This guy says he just loves to hike. Sounds good. But upon further observation, you realize that there is actually not much hiking being done, more of stopping to take a breather and enjoying the scenery.





7. Many Questions Guy: This gentleman came right out and told my mom that he doesn't approve of any women who have tatoos, belly rings, shaved hair (yep, down there), or anything else he deemed inappropriate. OK then. What great conversation to have on the first date!!!





8. Boondocks Guy: This guy lives 20 miles up a dirt road on top of a mountain in the middle of no where. I'm sure it's just beautiful up there, living off the land, eating chipmunk stew, ................Honey, keep pluckin' those chickens, I'll be back in 3 hours, I have to run to the store for more oil for our lanterns.





9. After the Fact Guy: This guy loves to call my mom on the phone. But only really late at night after he has had an adventurous day alone. Then, and only then, is he ready for some companionship. We get the picture, Romeo.

10. I Like Myself Guy: This guy likes himself so much that he thinks everyone likes him that much. Only, we don't like him, so get over yourself already!!!! Oh, and he LOVES to hear himself talk, and talk, and talk......





Well, so far that's all I can come up with. Isn't that sad. I mean, my mom certainly doesn't act her age. For that matter she doesn't even LOOK her age. And most of these guys are like on their death bead, looking for companions to sing them hymns as they gently drift off too..................sleep.


So, if any of you can think of a "good" man, send them our way, and I'll make up a name for them. :-)