Miss Independent

Is there such a thing as a young child that is too secure? Too comfortable in her shoes? Too Independent? From my experience as a child, I would have sworn there was no such thing. As a child I was dependant on everyone. Everything. All the time. I once went to summer camp for 3 days and had a miserable stay, crying for my mom the entire time I was away. No fun for me... I was too busy bawling my eyes out, wanting to be back home. I even spent time in the nurses cabin, while she let me sip a glass of 7-up for hours, hoping that would ease my "pain". Didn't work. One day I wrote my parents a letter, begging them to come get me early, so I could go back to my secure world with them. They didn't get it until the day they were scheduled to pick me up anyway. When I saw them get out of the car that hot summer afternoon, I had never been happier. I was finally crying happy tears. I was safe.

Now that I have my own child, I just assumed she would experience the same pain as I did, when she is away from us, her parents. I was dead wrong. I have been dead wrong since she was three years old, and I sent her to a pre-school that was for 4 year old children, because she was READY. As I left her at pre-school that day, I let the teacher know that it may be hard for her. I explained that she may cry when she realized I was not there. I explained that she had never been away from me, and I left my phone number so they could call me the minute she needed me. The call didn't come. As I walked into the room to pick her up, the teacher explained that Danielle never looked to see if I was gone. Never looked around and realized her security may be in jeopardy. She was fine. This was at the young age of three. How different she is from me, I thought.

So last week we worked it out with her grandparents in Montana, that Danielle would go stay for 3 nights and 4 days. As we left, I was a basket-case. I thought to myself....what am I going to do for 3 nights without her?? What is SHE going to do for 3 nights?? I am going to be worried the entire time that she may miss us. Well, whatever she did for those days away from us, it wasn't missing home. Joe picked her up and brought her home yesterday, and the only thing I noticed as I ran outside and gave her the hugest hug I have ever given, was that she looked tired. She had so much fun being a hundred miles away, that she was worn out. Last night when I laid down with her before she slept, I asked her how she did, and if she missed us while she was gone, and she replied..."Well, on the last day I did miss.......Neiko.". Hhhmmmmm.

So, even though there are times I wish she would "need" me more than she does, I mostly try to focus on the well-rounded, secure-in-herself child that Joe and I have raised, and I am thankful. I love you D. And I am proud of you for being the awesome girl you are.